The Daily Newarker

From time to time, Black Americans become entangled in lively discussions about what makes a person ‘black’. The conversation is inevitable, and on Sunday morning I came across the realization that not enough has changed in the way we relate to each other.
I volunteer as a Sunday school teacher at my church in Montclair. It’s a large nondenominational church that pulls its members from the Newark area as well as two neighboring states. Although the church is predominantly black, the congregation is socially, economically and ethnically diverse. That morning, the lesson called for the kids to work as teams. One group included a dark-skinned boy with pretty eyes and a sweet girl whose very light skin and dark, straight hair hinted at a mixed heritage. Well, the little boy took one look at his teammate and declared: “I am not standing up with that white girl!”
Of course, the teachers (there was one other aside from me) quickly and gently corrected this kid. He didn’t know that he was being insensitive. Obviously, he picked up his misguided sense of racial identity from the adults in his life, whose own warped ideas went unchecked for too long. As for the girl, the remark clearly saddened her, but she did not crumble to pieces. Good for her! She, and other light-skinned children like her will need that fortitude as they navigate the often-treacherous social scenes at middle school, high school and college.
By coincidence, I came across an interesting story in today’s newspaper about a canceled nightclub promotion in Detroit. That situation involved similar “colorism” issues, but was focused on some of the complexion-inspired rivalries between black women.
All adults who interact with children have a responsibility to show them how to treat others with fairness and respect. One would think that message is a given within the black community, and that we’ve all had enough intra-racial experiences to dispel that kind of lazy thinking. Sadly, some of us continue to highlight insignificant identity traits – complexion, facial features, hair texture and eye color – and use them as excuses to put our own brand of plain meanness on display.
Who knows why that boy said what he said. He might have taken a fancy to that little girl. She was cute in her braids decorated with white beads. Ladies, we all know that little boys typically express the first flutterings of love by taunting and vexing the objects of their affections.
Whatever the case, someone in that boy’s life should take better care to guide his thinking. It is human nature to find common traits and values in others, then group ourselves into tribes, but we should avoid sowing animosity among people who are different. Black Americans used to adhere to those abhorrent “brown paper bag” tests for admission to social events and organizations. We no longer practice that nonsense. That is progress, but the work never ends. Let’s take every opportunity to dispel “colorism” from black boys and girls, and teach them not to devise new methods of being divisive and cruel.